Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
