mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
