I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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