Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
