Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Ketchup is God's man juice
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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