I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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