quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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