just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize