whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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