Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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