Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
