No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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