My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You dont lie about slip and slides
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
