also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
