I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
