Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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