After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
