he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize