I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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