Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
