Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
