They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
