i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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