Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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