fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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