You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
