...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
