I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
