I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
