I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Everything about him screamed your future.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
