areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
