Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's blow job season.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
