dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
