Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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