shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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