Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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