thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You pole danced in your parka.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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