Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
