Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Randomize
