Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
