Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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