no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We need to rekindle our bromance
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
