We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
