Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You're a waste of cheezeits
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
