I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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