I must be too annoying 4 u.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
