He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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