I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Hippo gnu deer
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
how drunk are you?
Several
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
