I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
