I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
