Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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