honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize