she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
