Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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