what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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