dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
