you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
