And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize