very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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