But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
