Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
