I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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