I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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