I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize