So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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