dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think my moral compass just broke
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
