i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
